Veterinarians in a zombie apocalypsePosted: June 12, 2012
The AVMA published a list of 5 reasons you would want a veterinarian on your team during a zombie apocalypse. All good reasons (avoiding bites? Hah) though not all of them are applicable to your everyday small animal vet. Look, if there’s a zombie apocalypse, my plan is to stick to a hunter with a gun (with a very well stocked supplies and secure shelter).
- They have a better chance at surviving: In the event of a zombie apocalypse, survivors are at a premium, and losing members of your group will make you much more vulnerable. The biggest risk is getting bitten by a zombie. Well, who’s better at avoiding bites than a veterinarian?
- They can provide medical care: Again, pre-apocalypse, see your physician. Post-apocalypse, if a physician isn’t available, you couldn’t do much better than having a veterinarian treat your (non-zombie-bite) wounds and illnesses. Veterinarians spend at least four years post-grad training to care for ALL species, so while the general anatomy might be slightly different, they’re probably not going to be overwhelmed by the prospect of working on human patients.
- They can take care of the animals: With electrical grids down and gasoline no longer in production, you’re going to be relying on animals much more: Dogs for protection, horses for transportation, livestock for food and labor. A veterinarian will make sure these highly valuable animals are well treated, healthy and performing at a high level.
- They can make sure your food is safe: Without grocery stores, restaurants or refrigerators—not to mention state and federal oversight—obtaining, storing and preparing food will provide a whole new set of challenges for most people. Veterinarians have experience in ensuring food safety and testing; many work nationally to ensure food safety at processing plants and distribution centers, or across the globe working to make sure food for our troops is safe to eat. Unsure if the remaining meat from a deer carcass ravaged by zombies is safe to eat? Consult the veterinarian!
- They can find a cure: Veterinarians are experts at studying the causes and distribution of diseases, or epidemiology. They’ve been invaluable in determining the source and distribution of several diseases that pose risk to humans, such as rabies, SARS, and West Nile virus. Veterinarians might be able to determine what causes people to turn into zombies and develop a cure. Why aren’t animals infected? Perhaps there’s an epidemiological clue there!